It is a hideous day here today.
Just awful.
Last night the weather was so bad during the night that it woke me up numerous times.
It felt like the wind was blowing directly behind the head of my bed.
Just horrid.… Read the rest
Blah LaLa
Lamb radio and festivitea
I am celebrating a (spontaneous) long weekend with a late night, , , burning the midnight oil, hehe.
I have a cup of a festive brew of herbal tea in my hand, which is slightly sweet from an aniseed leaf, I think.… Read the rest
blackberry seeds and a lack of motivation
First drink of alcohol in over a week. 10 days maybe.
I had hit a wall in the kitchen and was considering stepping out to eat.
A beer seemed like a good attempt to switch things up.
I felt something akin to my first visceral impressions of Melbourne on my walk home today.… Read the rest
good and bad
Reading back on the past couple of posts,,,
It seems bat $hit crazy to extrapolate meaning from any of this.
Sometimes a point comes through. And other than that it just feels like noise.
And yet sometimes I feel like you are my friends.… Read the rest
in reality tho
Say one thing,
Then in the next instalment say the opposite.
Maybe that is by design.
Maybe all Mouse wants to do is to stuff me around.… Read the rest
very little left for this
I am not going to lie… I am getting close to the end of my patience.
The power dynamic is so unbalanced.
And, it doesn’t feel good anymore. Hasn’t for a while.
Mouse said something tonight that gave me a tiny burst of energy.… Read the rest
the push and the pull
My subconscious’s idea for escape this morning was the best yet.
Three options so far.
If only I wasn’t feeling like such crap.
This too shall pass (perhaps).
You strung it out for all these years. Now all that is left is hot air and a desire to jump ship.… Read the rest
to the country or to a party house
I keep waking up early in the mornings with a great scheme for how to get out of here.
It feels like it would be lonely to go somewhere else, given the fact that I am embedded (in a prolific weak ties kind of way) in my community.… Read the rest
where we are at
It feels lonely to engage with a screen.… Read the rest
a jam called Saturday
Reaching out into the interweb,
When I probably should be reaching out with my voice,
To a friend, or a loved one.
I am biding my time before one hopeful shot at a better cognitive experience.
It is becoming clear to me how much pharmacology affects my personality.… Read the rest