Personal blog
First drink of alcohol in over a week. 10 days maybe.
I had hit a wall in the kitchen and was considering stepping out to eat.
A beer seemed like a good attempt to switch things up.
I felt something akin to my first visceral impressions of Melbourne on my walk home today.… Read the rest
Reading back on the past couple of posts,,,
It seems bat $hit crazy to extrapolate meaning from any of this.
Sometimes a point comes through. And other than that it just feels like noise.
And yet sometimes I feel like you are my friends.… Read the rest
Say one thing,
Then in the next instalment say the opposite.
Maybe that is by design.
Maybe all Mouse wants to do is to stuff me around.… Read the rest
I am not going to lie… I am getting close to the end of my patience.
The power dynamic is so unbalanced.
And, it doesn’t feel good anymore. Hasn’t for a while.
Mouse said something tonight that gave me a tiny burst of energy.… Read the rest
My subconscious’s idea for escape this morning was the best yet.
Three options so far.
If only I wasn’t feeling like such crap.
This too shall pass (perhaps).
You strung it out for all these years. Now all that is left is hot air and a desire to jump ship.… Read the rest
I keep waking up early in the mornings with a great scheme for how to get out of here.
It feels like it would be lonely to go somewhere else, given the fact that I am embedded (in a prolific weak ties kind of way) in my community.… Read the rest
It feels lonely to engage with a screen.… Read the rest
Reaching out into the interweb,
When I probably should be reaching out with my voice,
To a friend, or a loved one.
I am biding my time before one hopeful shot at a better cognitive experience.
It is becoming clear to me how much pharmacology affects my personality.… Read the rest
Am I ever going to feel better? Or is this life now?… Read the rest
thinking of maybe a bite of a muffin with some butter and some honey.
Just like a little possum up a tree in the darkness of the bush.… Read the rest