To up and travel might be a lonelier kind of life.
Lonelier than nurturing the roots of my friendship here.
Or somewhere.
I am feeling like there is someone missing from my life.
And it feels so weird that I should keep writing, when no one gets in touch.
Maybe that is why my world feels so bleak now.
Pouring all this energy into people who let me wither.
Maybe it feels so bad because I have shared my soul for years.
And now it seems that I need to show up in worlds where I don’t feel like I belong, and face the music.
Not worthy of an email, or a phone call perhaps.
The shame bothers me today.