I think there is a lot to be said for the capacity to gently and compassionately take care of ourselves.
Today, I took the day off from my support shift. I also did not work on the web beyond getting my ducks in a row for tomorrow.… Read the rest
Author: soulgardening (page 5)
the repercussions
I feel really sad. . . and I am crying, , , and I want a hug.
‘I am not surprised’ says Sol.
the shitty outcome
It has been a harder landing than usual, coming out of this latest psychosis. It has left me with a lot of sadness this time. I am grieving the person I was in person when I was in it, and reeling in horror at how I opened up my heart, soul and mind to people, who I now need to assume just want to hurt me, or at the best don’t care very much.… Read the rest
need something better
Is there something else that can be used to treat my psychotic disorder?! Because THIS is CRAP!!
As far as mental environments go, I am not sure I have ever felt quite so bad.
Maybe there is some kind of hormonal happening brewing.… Read the rest
reflection on that other world
Climb back into my shell I suppose.
My mum misses the way I would call all the time,
I miss reaching out to my dad, to my brother, to my friends.
If my financial infrastructure was in place,
And I had safety guards on my public or social media expression,
Perhaps I could live with one foot in that world.… Read the rest
the real world is lonely
Landing hard tonight. And notice that I am emotionally isolated from the people in my world again. I don’t know what is worse – feeling distant from people and the world, or the chaos, the excessive, colourful expression and my ‘otherworldly’ reality.… Read the rest
break, nother fook
Like a billiard table. Every time I put something out into this sphere, the energy shifts, and changes. One ball bouncing off another.
And the blessed (but unfortunate) way that expressing emotions takes away their intensity and their power.
What are these shifting energies.… Read the rest
sadness everywhere
I am really out of my depth emotionally tonight. How are you doing??
I believe there is a solar eclipse happening. I am not sure if that is what causing this, but it feels isolating to feel so much sadness – especially for what is happening in our world right now.
what is your burden to bear?
Maybe we ‘all have something’. I mean something that challenges us so much and makes life incredibly difficult.
I was thinking about my friend Starfish and her world. She certainly has a challenging situation in hers. . . And yet she is the kindest person I have ever met.… Read the rest
managing an internet addiction
Urgh. So, this is what withdrawal from an internet addiction feels like. This may be what kids feel like when their parents take their devices away. . . It is no fun!
And yes, it feels like dying, so what are some gentle things that I can do to ameliorate this distress?… Read the rest