something important

A friend of a friend posted a photo of her dog in happier times.
It made me think about life and death.

About how some creatures and some people are precious.

What would life be without those people?… Read the rest

in absence

I would do anything to climb into a hug today.

Time has become some kind of hard edge.

All these years are buried beneath the surface of my mood.

I just want to be close.

The gaslighting has no explanation.… Read the rest

logical assumption

‘Oh well’???

If the particular flavour of terror that my mind opens up to most mornings these days is anything to go by, I have made another stupid mistake. (It could just be hormones).

If I could get angry I would say that the reasoning behind this possible mistake was a very clear and undeniable indication that I simply would not be welcome there.… Read the rest

isolated any which way

Splats.

There is something sobering about a situation where it simultaneously feels like I have made a terrible mistake and ‘it is all in my head’.

So it feels like the world is about to fall apart, it is my fault and yet at the same time I am completely foolish, and unable to share my fears with another living soul.… Read the rest

so so

I can tell that tomorrow is going to be a difficult day.

I have already hit a wall.

The tightrope of perimenopause eating does not leave a lot of room for error.

Although to be fair, one beer and two different glasses of red wine with a bowl of meaty pasta (it was a special), was probably pretty far from the mark!… Read the rest

2/10 recommend

I seem to have lost my treasured Melbourne reader.

If they don’t come back.

It is distressing,

But right now I feel so crappy that I don’t even feel like going out to comedy tonight.

It is pretty bad.

I will put my mind to working out how to try to make it better.… Read the rest

a jam called Saturday

Reaching out into the interweb,
When I probably should be reaching out with my voice,
To a friend, or a loved one.
I am biding my time before one hopeful shot at a better cognitive experience.
It is becoming clear to me how much pharmacology affects my personality.… Read the rest