I am not getting a sense of a big push of support for this escapist plan.
It was a full moon last night (I think), and I barely slept.
Now, I am considering coming back for a week. . . to look see some.… Read the rest
(page 12)
a different kind of magnet
I am not going to lie.
I am still drawn to the coast this year.
There is quite a bit happening up there.
And my moon and stars are talking about a different community, might be able to get out from under this family business sticky ick if I am there.… Read the rest
the desire to abscond
Maybe I have been feeling like I need to escape because of something that is happening with the moon and the stars.
I have certainly felt for quite a while now that I don’t ‘belong’ in Melbourne right now.
And I am not entirely sure ‘why’.… Read the rest
slowly killing me
Would you like to know what is wrong with me?
(Apart from the obvious issues arising from my mental illness).
It is this house.
It is so wrong for me.
Sometimes, when I am in it I feel like I need to detonate myself like a bomb.… Read the rest
broken and expected to show up
To up and travel might be a lonelier kind of life.
Lonelier than nurturing the roots of my friendship here.
Or somewhere.
I am feeling like there is someone missing from my life.
And it feels so weird that I should keep writing, when no one gets in touch.… Read the rest
a break from my favourites
I still don’t feel like I belong in my neighbourhood this year.
Feel like I gotsta get out and explore the world.
Can’t spend this year revisiting old favourites in this city.
Just gotta stand up and make it happen – no matter what it takes!… Read the rest
real life high
Something has lifted overnight.
And now, I want a ‘real life high’. I want to do something in my world that will lift the roof off my mood.
Because I am back to baseline, perhaps.
A morning coffee is a little bit of that.… Read the rest
not ok
It is me.
I am the one who is ‘effing this up’.
Have been doing so for years.… Read the rest
quiet day
it feels so quiet without Astro in my world.
And I am feeling ashamed.
Maybe I should turn my back.
The grief associated with that action runs deep – but that is to be expected, i suppose.
It is nice to have a day when i don’t feel torn.… Read the rest
school
What about school?
I want to go back to school this year, perhaps.
Studying what?! For what purpose. I know these are decisions I need to make, but the electronic noise is so confusing today.
This feels like no way to live.… Read the rest