All that she could feel inside of her was. . .
Well, dear Lala, , , what IS it?
The feeling inside?
It is fear, mixed with disgust, mixed with intense sadness, , , perhaps. . . or is that shame?… Read the rest
(page 17)
In spite of the confabulation
They couldn’t want to love her for real if they didn’t feel the need to reach out and open the window to their world, right?
She wondered if maybe her written words were not labouring in the cause of love, in any case.… Read the rest
List for my future
Adventures I owe myself (edition one):
– a face to face relationship
– one to three months in each of Valencia, Barcelona, Berlin, Vietnam, Singapore, Japan, Croatia, London, Portugal, Belgium, Amsterdam, Turkey, the beaches of Thailand and Morocco (at a minimum 😛 )
– a camping trip
– a career stint caring for children, or fostering children
– an animal friend
– a visit to a rooftop pool and bar in late summer
– a trip to Darwin, Perth and Brisbane
– a visit to Uluru
– a videography adventure to a light sculpture exhibition
– design and build a light sculpture
– learn how to video jam to live electronic music (that I like)
– go on numerous winery tours in various places across Australia
– design and project manage my bathroom renovation
– sleep under the stars
– sip cocktails on a yacht
– live on a houseboat for a month
– go for a holiday with one of my groups of friends… Read the rest
nauseous grind
A weird energy,
That makes me want to keep the doors to my soul closed for a few.
At least until the energy of the evening shifts,
Into some other kind of mood.… Read the rest
soul pain
A sickness to the stomach, so vile.
Borne from the realisation that she can’t switch it off.
Can’t ‘refuse to go back there’.
It is a bitter loneliness to walk some uncharted path,
With ‘friends’ who refuse to speak to her.… Read the rest
attention lost
Sitting in my bed,
Enjoying a quiet, lazy morning,
And feeling morose because I haven’t had any attention today.
It always threatens to leave me in peace.
And then comes back.
Maybe this time I will find freedom.
Maybe this time I will stand up for myself.… Read the rest
Thinking about the purpose of Soul Gardening
It is interesting to visit Soul Gardening after a big break, and read back on the past year or so worth of public posts.
It has me wondering – what is the purpose of this website? And what good can I do here?… Read the rest
curious way to make decisions
I am making the final decisions for colours in my new kitchen, and I am doing it with my gut, hehe.
My body tells me what feels right and wrong based on different textures and colours.
It is a strange, but lovely experience.… Read the rest
dating advice from datebrazen
The advice is that if you are carrying the conversation on your own, then it should be a ‘bless and release’.
If they don’t ask you any questions, then it is a ‘bless and release’.
And if you aren’t curious, then it is a ‘bless and release’.… Read the rest
what is good for me
I feel like getting out for a walk would be so good for me, but I feel so weak.
Maybe this is one of those situations where I should FORCE myself to get up and out. It will probably be good.… Read the rest