The basic fact is that I am not welcome there. . .
So, I live in a world that I fear I will never really know if it is make believe or no. . . … Read the rest
(page 8)
logical assumption
‘Oh well’???
If the particular flavour of terror that my mind opens up to most mornings these days is anything to go by, I have made another stupid mistake. (It could just be hormones).
If I could get angry I would say that the reasoning behind this possible mistake was a very clear and undeniable indication that I simply would not be welcome there.… Read the rest
strange days
If I wasn’t listening to music with rapt attention would I be listening to someone telling a story?
The whole attachment situation is confusing, so I may simply refrain from comment.
Or just say – it is not exactly productive!… Read the rest
disembodied attachment
I am so angry.
And I don’t want to take the medicine that will likely soothe my soul.
It feels so right to be so aggravated.… Read the rest
isolated any which way
Splats.
There is something sobering about a situation where it simultaneously feels like I have made a terrible mistake and ‘it is all in my head’.
So it feels like the world is about to fall apart, it is my fault and yet at the same time I am completely foolish, and unable to share my fears with another living soul.… Read the rest
nothing nasty
It feels weird in my body where they put the camera inside.
I bought some beer on the way home – to celebrate a completely normal result, but given how strange I am feeling after invasive surgery, I might have a cup of tea instead.… Read the rest
talking to people who don’t talk to me
There is something about the descendant – a sign in our astrology that appears on the horizon at the end of the day we were born.
It is supposed to provide information about who you are in relation to others. How others see you, and how we are in 1:1 relationships.… Read the rest
the ice
It might have been nice to go back to the coast for Mother’s Day.
The idea provides the tiniest modicum of relief from some kind of disembodied waste, probably orchestrated by bots for all I know.
As it is I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for something my panic merchant doctor wants to get checked out.… Read the rest
shifting sands
Something quite different about the quality of my energy today.
The day sits on a foundation of optimism that is invigorating… purposeful.
What can I do with this time?
Tucked up in my cosy house, with the rain pouring outside. … Read the rest
big yawwwwwn
I have just finished work for the evening.
What a messy night of duplicate tables, stalling imports and an abundance of errors. . .
I need to imbibe my mind and my soul with classical and ambient music, and wash the uncomfortable senses of this day away with a sensory feast of beauty and calm.… Read the rest